Monday, May 7, 2018

Kevin's Letters

Dear Wrestling,

Since it just came up, the reason I work to translate Kevin and Sami's interviews from French to English is that when I first started watching wrestling, and they completely took over my heart, I did what I always do: I started doing nearly obsessive research. Which, a lot of the fun is that hunt itself. I've always loved that.

However, as I started reading @Mithgif's essays and learning more about the feud between Kevin and Generico, I learned that he had occasionally written letters and posted them to the ROH forums. Well, says I, I know a goldmine when I see one. So I started looking.

To the best of my knowledge, there were six letters. I've been able to find four. I've saved them to my hard drive and then a couple other places as well, because it took *hours* and hours of searching old forums and wayback machine pages and at this point, this isn't fun, I just want to win.

80% is a B, right? I only have a date for one, and when Mith and I open the Steenerico Museum one day, I'm going to use that status to finish this. So here they are.

***Part Two***

*****************************************************

Dear Colt,

You pushed and pushed. You couldn't just leave it alone. You couldn't just leave me alone.

Thanks to you and the wonderful ROH Video Wire crew, everyone saw what happened in LA. And after seeing it myself, I have decided to put my thoughts into words for you. I spoke out of anger and as I have been told several times in the past several weeks, that's not a good thing.

I wish I could have expressed myself in a more precise manner when we talked but your constant questioning and badgering brought me to a breaking point I had hoped I wouldn’t reach.

I know you have this intense need to understand why I did what I did to “him”. Quite frankly it seems more like it's bordering on an obsession at this point. But that’s not why I am writing this, Colt. As I mentioned during our ''chat", soon enough you will understand my actions from Final Battle quite well.

What I really want to write about is this friendship, this bond between us all that you keep mentioning.

I suppose at a certain point we really were friends, weren't we? I can remember some good, maybe even great times. But Colt, life isn't really measured by positive moments, is it? Nobody remembers good things as well as they remember wars and tragedies. It appears I am the same way. When I look back over our time as friends, the negative drastically outshines the positive.

Ever since I, as you call it, turned my back on our "friend", you have questioned my character.

But I have questions for you too. What kind of friend constantly belittles another?

Before you signed your precious contract, your nickname for me wasn't "Kev" as it has since become. I seem to clearly remember you calling me anything from "fatboy" to "moron" on a daily basis. And I know what you and everyone else will think; I did the same kind of thing to “him”.

Well, there is a big difference there. I was forced into a friendship with “him” from the start. I was pushed into having to travel, wrestle and team with “him” for 6 years. I never asked to be his friend nor did I ever want to be. I was never given a damn choice.

You, however, were. I never asked you to be my friend. It just kind of happened. But I never kidded myself. I always knew we were more "friends by default'' than anything else. You were his buddy and since he couldn't seem to function without having me around, I was always tagging along.

I know you'll deny this so I have another question for you and this is one that has been eating away at me for years.

If we were such good friends, then where were you when your good buddy Punk was screaming at me, trying to humiliate me in front of the entire locker room in Boston a few years ago?

Actually, I remember exactly where you were. You were sitting just a few feet from the whole incident, just looking on, not saying or doing a damn thing. I was just coming into ROH at that point, just hoping for an opportunity, trying not to make any waves and you could have helped me that day.

But you just sat there. And I will never forget that.

But now I have found the help I needed. You see, Steve Corino has been a friend from the very moment we met. He saw something in me and has been trying to help me reach my full potential from the beginning. He was even responsible for helping me go to Japan for the first time with Zero One, which ironically enough, he did for you as well. And look where we are now. Steve and I stand side-by-side climbing the ladder together while you take every chance you get to question our integrity while trying to cheer up your masked charity case.

And now we are two short days away from facing each other in a match. I never wanted it to come to this but it now appears there is no other way. The best part of it all though, is that it’s all going to take place in New York City.

I know you lived one of the greatest moments of your career in New York when you made your ROH return a little under a year ago to one of the loudest, most intense, and thrilling reactions from a crowd that I have ever seen.

And it is ironic considering it was also the stage for one the lowest points of my own career, Ladder War 2. But I don't mean losing the match. Of course I wish we had been victorious that night, and things probably would have ended up very differently if we had been.

What I’m talking about is the New York City crowd turning their backs on me and chanting Eddie Edwards' name, cheering his every move. This is the same man who went at great lengths to injure not only myself but their pathetic masked hero as well, and none of these people seemed to remember that. All they saw was how courageous little Ed-Ed was for fighting with a broken elbow.

Even now as I type this, I feel sick to my stomach remembering what I felt that night as the entire crowd cheered him to victory. With everything he and Richards had done to me and “him”, Eddie Edwards surely deserved to get his arm ripped off, let alone broken.

I should have been the hero. I should have been the one whose name they were all chanting. It should have been me. But it wasn’t.

You know, Colt, the more I think about it, the more conflicted I am about this Saturday.

On one hand, I can't wait to be able to stick it to those pathetic excuses for wrestling fans by destroying one of their most beloved favorites. I can't wait to finally shut you up and give you what you deserve for being such a bad friend to me all these years.

But on the other hand, I still care for you. I never wanted us to fight. But I guess we are past the point of no return now.

Colt, just do me one favor. Just remember one very important thing. When we face each other this Saturday, please know that I don't want to hurt you.

But I will.

I love you.

Kevin

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07-02-2011

The second I heard it, I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I will never forget.

So many things went through my mind...how could I end up in this situation? What can I do to fix it? Is it too late to change things? And most of all...how could I live without Ring Of Honor?

I heard the sound that signified my career in ROH was over and my heart sank. Actually, it felt more like it started bleeding.

You have all figured out by now that the sound I'm talking about is the referee coutning to 3 as Generico is pinning me for the victory at Final Battle. But many people thought that feeling in the pit of my stomach was regret...but as I showed everyone at the iPPV, it wasn't.

I spent 6 long months trying to get rid of that feeling...the feeling of undeniable rage and betrayal that festered inside of me ever since that phone call. Remember that call Jimmy? The one where you told me back in October that if Generico and I didn't stop this war immediately, one of us would have to go? I told you there was no way you'd have the guts to get rid of one of us and the next week, I decided to call your bluff and lay out the challenge for Final Battle.

I expected you to lose your fucking mind after I did it and I was right. You did. What I wasn't right about is the fact that you'd beg me to reconsider. I'll admit it, on that one, I was way off. I realized pretty quickly that you weren't going to be manipulated like everyone else I dealt with. You made the match official and it got quite clear quite quickly who you and every other ROH ''official'' were rooting for.

The match was 2 months away and I could already see all of you plan for ROH without Kevin Steen. It made me sick. I knew there was no way I could win this thing. Regardless of how the match went you'd just screw me over if you had to. You couldn't have me running around beating the shit out of everyone and licking people's blood when you were negociating with that nice big corporation that wanted to buy the company, which would ensure that the almighty Jim Cornette would always have a job in ROH and still matter in the wrestling world.

I really tried to let go of that anger but nothing I did helped. The closest thing to relief was when I got to compete in a PWG ring. But even that was bittersweet because after every match, people would come up to me and say ''How are you not in ROH anymore?''

Then I saw what they made Steve do...and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Steve Corino is the best. My idol. He is an exemple for everyone that wants to leave a mark on this industry. He's one of the guys I watched as an aspiring wrestler that made me say ''I want to be like that guy!''

Of course, that was before he sold his soul for that company. That was before Steve Corino made the decision to cut his own balls off so that he could stay in ROH.

Steve Corino is a fucking legend and instead of embracing that, he turned himself into a apologetic, self-deprecating, pathetic shell of what he really is.

Steve used to come to the ring and beat the shit out of people. He used to come to the ring, bleed buckets and make people bleed. Now he comes to the ring wearing hockey jerseys and says he's sorry so that fans applaud him. He wants to help the younger generation. He tries to make buddy-buddy with a fucking lumberjack. What kind of bullshit is that?

Where's the Steve Corino that would take a fork and cut people open? Where's the Steve Corino who pushed me to get more sadistic and evil than I ever even knew I could? Where's Steve Corino, King of Old School?

I don't know whether he genuinely believes this shit or whether he's doing it to kiss ROH's ass but I'll say this, FUCK him for demeaning himself and FUCK ROH for either LETTING him or FORCING him to do it! And as far as Jimmy Jacobs is concerned, I don't know him as well as I know Steve but it seems to me he got brainwashed into ripping his own balls off too. The unfortunate part is Steve made the mistake of thinking that he could change me as well. I actually can't believe that possibility even occured to him. Maybe Jacobs put that in his head?

All I know is this: Steve, you need to understand that I don't hate you. It's quite the opposite. You are still my idol. I still respect you more than anyone I've ever met in the wrestling business. I still think of you and Colby as family.

But I will never castrate myself in order to make ROH, Cary Silkin, Jim Cornette or you, happy. I am the monster I am and I will never change. My name is Kevin Steen and I am the Antichrist of pro wrestling. I don't need to drink or do drugs to be who I am. I am here to beat the fuck out of people and create as much chaos, pain and mayhem as I can and that's always going to be my purpose.

I waited for 6 months to get a chance to come out, stand in the middle of an ROH ring and scream to the world what I've been feeling and I finally got to do it at Best In The World. But I didn't do it just for me. I did it for a lot of people. I did it for the guys that gave years of their careers to ROH and got discared with no explanation like Necro Butcher, Austin Aries and Jimmy Rave. I did it for Gabe Sapolsky. I did it for my buddy Adam Pearce who poured his soul into that company before being thrown out like grabage. But most of all I did for myself, my wife and son, and for the old Steve Corino... the one that died in December when I got kicked out of the company.

There's so much more I want to write about here but I feel this has been long enough already so let me close this off with one last thing.

Jim Cornette, please remember this:

You cannot keep me out of ROH. You can swear on your mother's grave all you want...your mother's grave doesn't mean shit to me.

I will show up in ROH again, sooner or later. And when I do, it'll be with one goal in mind...

To bring the whole fucking company down, for good.

See you soon..

Love,

Kev

*********************************************************************

In less than 48 hours, I'll be looking across the ring at someone I've admired for over a decade now, as we get ready to wage war on each other. I'll be looking at someone who I always considered a friend as he gets ready to referee the most important match of my life. I'll be looking ringside at someone who, as a kid, I used to watch on TV manage my favorite wrestlers like Davey Boy Smith and Owen Hart, never guessing that he'd one day try to ruin my career.

To say that the odds are against me is an understatement. But you know what? The odds have been stacked against me since the very beginning of my career. I never looked like someone who should be a wrestler. I never looked like an athlete. Yet I managed to work through those obstacles to become one of the most entertaining, unpredictable and appreciated wrestlers on the independent scene today. I have wrestled all over the world for many, many great promotions. What I am is a MUST-SEE attraction for any promotion I work for.

I thrive on being seen as an outcast and a nutcase. I thrive on having people try to sabotage my career because of how big of a threat I've become. I feed on all of that. So you can bet your ass I am absolutely thrilled about the way everything is shaping up for Final Battle.
Some of you might think, judging from my comments here and the comments I made in the last ROH Video Wire while hanging out in a kid's playground, that I am taking Friday night's battle lightly. Let me assure you, nothing is further from the truth.

''The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose.''
- James Arthur Baldwin

I am confident. Not in my victory but in the fact that I will lay waste to several people, cause mayhem and chaos as only I can and finally bring back to ROH an aura of danger and imminent disaster that has been missing for too long now.

I do hope to walk out victorious. But I'm not going to be the guy that walks around saying ''when, not if, I win'' because the man I'm facing on Friday is Steve Fucking Corino. And until recently, I thought that man I was facing was nothing but a shell of the one I looked up to as I came up in the wrestling world. But last month in Chicago, and ever since then, I've noticed something in Steve's eye that had been missing since last year's Final Battle. I see glimmers of fear. I see glimmers of hate. I see glimmers of Evil.

Steve has been claiming that it will be the Corino of old fighting me in NYC. The one who bled buckets, sold out the Hammerstein Ballroom and fought as dirty as he could until he had nothing left to give. If that's true...if that's really the Corino that shows up in NYC -and I hope it is- then I can't be sure of my victory. But you can all be sure of one thing...

Violence is coming back to ROH in a huge way at Final Battle.

Let me end with this...

Steve, you wrote that 10 years ago, you were walking into the Hammerstein as the 27 year old ECW World Heavyweight Champion. And 10 years ago, I was sitting at home watching you do it with admiration in my eyes.

This time, however, I'm the one walking into Hammerstein at 27 years old. But I don't have a title to defend...yet. No. After everything I have been through with this company. I'm actually walking in with absolutely nothing to lose anymore.

And you know what they say about a man who's got nothing to lose...

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Gabe, one thing you should know about me is I don't like talking on the phone. So that ''talk'' you want to have is going to have to wait until July 26th when I get to the building.

Also, you say you spoke to some of my friends and they told you I wasn't ''in the right frame of mind.'' That in itself is comical since I only have one friend left and I highly doubt you had a chat with Franky The Mobster. As far as my frame of mind goes...people have been calling me crazy for a year and a half, yet I feel nothing but complete and absolute serenity. I am of sound mind, body and soul and pro wrestling is my therapy.

The last 6 months have been torture for me. But that all ended on June 26th when I stood in an ROH ring and told them to go fuck themselves. And Gabe, it occured to me when I read your ''invitation'' that I had so much fun the last time I was in NYC that I was due for another trip there. And what better time than exactly one month later, July 26th? And what better place than EVOLVE?

I realize that you didn't mean what you said when you invited me to the show, my friend, I do. But you should have known better. What you did put an idea in my head and now that idea has been consuming me for days and now there is no denying it. I have to do this... By showing up at EVOLVE I get to achieve two things: I get to help one of ROH's rivals make some money and get more attention. I get to piss off those lovely ROH officials by helping a promotion they never thought I'd show up in. I get to make the EVOLVE show on July 26th a MUST-SEE event!

And almost as good as all that, I get to walk up to you, Gabester, and say ''Be careful what you wish for!'' Did you really think you could call me out like you did and get away with it?! Gabe, you really should have known better bud! Now you got Kevin Steen...the Antichrist of pro wrestling.

Oh and Gabe, one last thing. You know, all of those nice rules EVOLVE has? All that stuff about terms and regulations and missions...that's really cute...but it's not really for me... See you on the 26th.

 Kevin

The Devil on My Back

Dear Wrestling, It turns out I probably have ADD. It's nice to have an explanation for why I can't seem to update things like this...