Time Travel the Slow Way

Dear Wrestling,

This letter is mostly about what a big queer-mo I am--and wrestling! But hella gay stuff.

Tonight I went to PWX for the Battlefield X event, and it cemented them as my 'home' promotion. I'll do a different letter to talk about that more generally, but here's the crux of tonight, of right now, for me: I just a few days ago learned that there are more out wrestlers than I thought, and that Effy is one of them. I saw some of his shirts in the crowd, and sure enough, he was in the rumble. Entered to huge applause. Got in the ring, and while I couldn't really hear, it was clear there was history with White Mike, and they had an argument. Mike kissed Effy to more applause and cheers, and then Effy smacked the hell out of Mike, and began to fight in the rumble.

I grew up in Charlotte. I attended schools there during the AIDS crisis. I had friends who were gaybashed, beaten to hell. I was out as bi, and knew that I was taking my safety in my hands, and to be honest I've always been a 'with your shield or on it' kind of person, so I was prepared for that--mentally, anyway.

I had a very dear friend, someone I'd had a crush on for years, tell me very sadly that he really wished I wasn't going to Hell, because I was nice. Pat Robertson told my 15 year old best friend that it was because of people like her that he wanted the Bible taught in schools. Stuff like that.

So today I saw Effy, cheered. Kiss a dude. No parents grabbed their children and bolted. Still a family friendly show, no problem.

I missed the intervening years, you see. I spent them in West Virginia, as far from mainstream culture as it is possible to be in the West. I missed so much.

So. I drove home and started checking the internets, and was alerted to this.

As a big queer, of course this new chapter in the Golden Lovers has meant so much to me, but at the same time, coming from this weird time-travely part of the mid-90s, I keep waiting for them to pull the rug out from under me. Walk it back. New Japan to suddenly not be ok with it. Kota to come out and say, Sorry guys, I'm totally straight. Something.

And every time, Kenny and Kota  reassure me so so gently, that this isn't that. This is our story. This is the story specifically for the people like us--Ibushi is my age, you know. This is the story we've never gotten and always wanted.

I still haven't totally taken it in. But for some reason, that tee shirt has done more to make it real than anything so far. It's so silly, but I think that's just it: they wouldn't do something so quotidien just to fake us out.

Man, Wrestling. It's been quite a day, for me at least.

Yours draped in a rainbow flag, throwing beads to the crowd,

Autumn